Facebook related Status

→ NO ONES LOOKING ;) DO IT NOW → I hate when I look horrible in a group picture and the person that looks good refuses to delete it. → loves doing the “scroll of shame” the morning after drinking. That`s when I walk through all the stuff I shouldn`t have done on Facebook the night before. → just explained to my mom that not "liking" her status wasn’t the same as "disliking" her status. Facebook can be complicated. → Take it easy! you`re just in the wrong fb wall as I am!! ") → insert coin 2 view todayz status!! :D :D → Tries to fill the empty void in his life by gettign people to like his status updates. → We should put together, My Space, Facebook, Youtube, Twitter...and call it: My Face You Twitt ! → is wondering if you can grow marijuana on Farmville then sell it on Mafia Wars? ;) → is updating his status to let you know his status is that he has no status. → is thinking about how everyone seems to have their face in a book but no one seems to be reading much anymore. → is wondering if i will get a notification if i like my own status. Lets find out. → says that all of his true friends will like this status. Are you his true friend? → why is it that whenever there’s two women in a profile pic the hot one is always someone else..? → Like this if you want more status Leave a comment on what topic I should talk about Animals, Blondes, More Status ...I need ideas people → I Liked your Status and now 25 notifications later........I`m hating me for Liking your status! → I`m in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he`s going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart. → Just deleted 10 friends - Are you next?? → Dad joined facebook. . . . . .kid`s status. . .`wtf`. . . .dad asks him. . . . . `what is wtf. . ?`. . Kid replies. . . .`welcome to facebook. . .`. . . . :P → lkie fi yuo cna raed tihs whit no porlbem yuo`er jsut htat smrat. → ☠ ☠ ☠ Pirates hijacked my Facebook status! ☠ ☠ ☠ → When Facebook starts showing how many times you have visited someone`s profile, we`re all screwed. → I’m starting a story. Each person who comments - add the next sentence in the story! Here’s the first sentence: “It was a monday morning at school…” → Fun Status Game!! reach for the nearest book and comment on this status with the second line of the second paragraph on page 20. → Copy this onto your status and see what people rate you! (1) ghetto (2) wish we went out (3) talkative (4) sarcastic (5) loveable (6) crazy (7) i want you (8) spoilt (9) great parent (10) wild (11) funny (12) beautiful (13) mature (14) ugly (15) I’d take you home ;) (16) wish I had ur number (17) wierd (18) honest (19) freak (20)sexy → Comment me a color! BLACK -i hαte you. PINK -i fαncy you. PURPLE -i would dαte you. BLUE -i did love you. RED -i do love you. SILVER -we αre close. GOLD -i like you. GREEN -i will αlwαys love you. ORANGE -i think you’re sexy. YELLOW -you’re my best friend. BROWN -you’re funny. Put this αs your stαtus and see whαt colours you get! → like this and I’ll tell you what profession I think you will have. → Like this if you think you can do better → Look at your status, now back to mine. Now back to yours, now back to mine. Sadly, yours isn`t mine. But if you stopped posting useless idiocy and made this your status, yours could be like mine. Look down, back up.Where are you? You`re on Facebook, reading the status your status could be like. Anything is possible when your status has a point. I`m on a computer → Just wanted to let you know that you are my BFBFF… Best Facebook Friend Forever.. → Study...study...stud....sta....ah....staf.....stafay....fay....face....facebook :D → YES, Facebook, I already CHECKED that notification, now can you please get rid of that little red number?! → Facebook is like a refrigerator. You get bored and keep checking, but nothing ever changes. → Wow! You`re photos really don`t look like you in real life. Maybe you`ve edited them too much? → Liking your own status on Facebook..is like high fiving yourself in public :) → I think Facebook needs a "NOBODY CARES" button right below the status update. → Facebook is like Jail, you sit around and waste time, You write on walls, play useless games and you get poked by weird people... → People liking my status from a week ago on Facebook proves that I have stalkers. → Looking at people`s mutual friends and saying "OMG HOW DO YOU KNOW THEM" → LIKE this if you need a vacation! → Dear Facebook, you are my favorite distraction. → Facebook is the only place where it’s acceptable to talk to a wall. → That akward moment when someone you really hate send you a friend request.. → "*News Flash* cure found for Facebook addiction press "Alt + f4" for answer" → Inbox (1) makes me happy... Notifications (1000000) does not. → *you have 1 notification* Me:"excited" clicks *Someone has sent you request in a game *Me: =.= → Hi,my name is _________ and I`m a likeoholic. → LIKE If cleaning your room used to mean shoving everything under your bed or in your closet → If your relationship status says, "It`s complicated" you should stop kidding yourself and change it to "Single" :) → LIKE if you`re online ;) → L.....wait for it......IKE! :) → "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!"..."aww u remembered my birthday?"..."ofcourse!, LOL Facebook told me!" :D → EVERYBODY`s online ,except the one u actually want :( → I always (LIKE) → If you were a facebook status, I would Like you. And if you were a tweet, I would Retweet U! ;) → Like my status and I`ll tell you: 1.how we met 2.my first impression of you 3.what i like about you 4.favorite memory with you 5.a color that reminds me of you → facebook needs a wtf button! → Facebook is my mouth. YouTube is my ears. Twitter is my heart. → Poking; The weirdest sign of affection! → Who’s that sexy beast…………..oh I clicked on my own profile again!! → Don`t flatter yourself, I sent a friend request not a marriage proposal. → Your real friends write on your Facebook wall when its Not Your Birthday. → Posting Your Favourite SuperHero As Your Profile Picture. → The awkward moment when you realize your status fails. → Facebook needs a get a life button. → "I got to show you who I`m talking about, let`s get on facebook." → When I read your status , I mentally correct your grammar mistakes. → Right now, all across the world, people are partying, falling in love and making the most of life. Me?...I`m on facebook! :) → If u feel a bit lonely, 4gotten or just need someone to cheer you up remember....you can always change your birthday on facebook. → If facebook were to crash, America would be full of people walking around towns across the country, talking to walls and poking people... → When someone likes your status that you shared about a week ago and you think to yourself, "They must stalk me." → Yes my status is about you, I was just hoping you got the hint. → Seeing a status update and wondering if it`s about you, but not having the courage to ask. → "How do I reply to that comment??.. Yeah I`ll just like it" → That one friend who is online at 4 am. → "Hey, i`ll be back in 5 minutes..." In case I`m not... Just read the above sentence again." :) → The Awkward moment when you get no likes so you delete your post :/ → being on facebook with nothing better to do so you just like random “likes” and blow peoples wall up → That’s it i’m logging out now. Oooooooh look, a notification! → We all have those entertaining facebook fights ♥ → Facebook always asks me "What`s on your mind?", .. .. and most of the times, I just copy & paste from others mind.. → Before Facebook, I never realized so many people had birthdays... → When the mayans predicted the end of the world in 2012, they were meaning that Facebook would close. → I SAW YOUR COMMENT BEFORE YOU DELETED IT. → Life is like Facebook - People will like your problems & often comment on them, but only a few will try and help you solve them, while everyone else is too busy trying to update their status. → Press Enter to dislike the `Press Enter to post` → When your caring boyfriend/girlfriend puts you in their status cause they don’t care what their friend’s think. → I hate it when I write a sarcastic Facebook status and someone who doesn’t get it has to comment and ruin it. → That Awkward Moment When there’s nothing new on Tumblr, Facebook, or Twitter, so you just stare blankly at the screen switching tabs randomly. → Without you, I`m like... Status Update without Likes. → Facebook should change "in a relationship" to "i love my boyfriend/girlfriend" ! → I don`t know you but, Facebook says its your birthday so..HAPPY BIRTHDAY! :) → you don`t have to like me. I`m not a facebook status.. :) → Facebook... Why am I so addicted to you??? → Facebook is like a refrigerator. You get bored and keep checking, but nothing ever changes :) → Recycle your bottles not your status updates. → I also think Facebook should change "Friends" to "People with whom I have made eye contact" → no matter what you do on the computer you always end up on twitter or facebook → It`s amazing how much you discover on facebook. → In an emergency, I`d probably write status about it before calling the police. → Does anybody know how can I send an enemy request on Facebook? → Texting + Facebook= Textbook. So I`m studying. → 1 friend request, 0 mutual friends, WTF?! how did you find me???? o.O → Dear whoever reads this status, SMILE cause you are Beautiful, Sincerely, me. (: → I`m in love with your statuses. You always make me smile :) ♥ → 39 mutual friends and still don`t know who this person is(was). (WTF) → When I die, i`m gonna have a "like" and "dislike" button on my gravestone :) → LIFE - (Facebook + Music) = Boring! → It`s not official until it`s on facebook. → Dear Facebook, I can`t believe you still haven`t gotten that dislike button. Sincerely, YouTube. → You don’t have to like me. I’m not a Facebook status. → What Is FACEBOOK ? . . . . → Its A Place Where Boy Posts Joke, Gets No Response... And If Girl Posts The Same Joke, She Gets 150 Likes, 300 Comments & 60 Friends Requests. → That awkward moment when one of your family members sends you a family request on Facebook. → I left MySpace for Facebook, and now I`m cheating on Facebook with Twitter → FACEBOOK FACT The people under your friends list on your wall are the people who visit your wall the most. → "Twitter is over capacity." *Refresh* "Twitter is over capacity." *Refresh* Screw it, I`m getting on Facebook. → Facebook REALLY needs a `No one cares` button → That one day fame on facebook because it`s not birthday. → Thanks to Facebook, i now know what everyone`s bathroom looks like → CAUTION: This status will self-destruct in 10 seconds. The only way to stop it is by LIKE it! :D → Morning Routine: 1. Wake Up 2. Check phone for messages 3. Check Facebook for any notifications → Facebook = You realize how different you are from people. Twitter = You realize there are people who knows exactly how you feel. → That awkward moment when someone you don`t know adds you on facebook and they message you asking who you are. B*tch, you added me! → Is it just me, or does having family members as friends on Facebook limit the things that you can say. → Log Out is the hardest button to press → I remember all my friends` birthday! Since I was on Facebook! → Facebook should get a "I don`t even know you" button, for the dumbasses who like to try to add people they don`t know. → Thanks Facebook, now I don`t know who actually remembered my birthday! → Mom, Dad and Teachers, OK, you`re on Facebook, please don`t invade Twitter now. → when a girl hacks a Facebook account "OMG hacked by Nicole LOVE YOU Bar". when a guy hacks a Facebook account "I am gay!!" → Good hair day = New profile picture. → What is Facebook? A place where boy posts a joke there is no response ... but Girl posts same joke she get 95 likes, 35 comment, 15 friend requests..! Like if agree :P → Facebook; the only place where I can be married to my best friend, and have more than 20 siblings. → The awkward moment when someone deletes their comment on facebook and you look like you’re talking to yourself. → I`m busy "liking" everything on Facebook to counterbalance all the "unliking" I do in real life. → There`s a thin line between "I should make a status about that" and "I should talk to a therapist about that." → If my boss saw how many cool things I post on Facebook in a day, he`d stop saying I`m unproductive. → The awkward moment when someone likes your picture that you posted 8 months ago... → The first and last person to LIKE this status are the sexiest people in the whole wide world! :) → How did we spend all our time before Facebook was invented? D: → Teaching your own mother how to use Facebook is like willingly signing your own death warrant..! → Roses are red, Facebook is blue, No mutual friends, Who the f*ck are you? → That awkward moment when a comment gets more “likes” than your status. → ☻/ღ˚ •。* ♥ ˚ ˚✰˚ ˛★* 。 ღ˛° 。* °♥ ˚ • ★ *˚ .ღ 。 /▌*˛˚ღ •˚ ˚…just sprinkling a little Love on your profile. ~♥~˚ ✰* ★ / ˚. ★ *˛ ˚♥* ✰。˚ ˚ღ。 → That awkward moment when someone comments on a really old picture and you realize they were probably stalking your page. → I`m back.. from my Facebook vacation :) → Like If : you hate when you get a notification, but it turns out to be pointless -_- → I made my Facebook status: "I kissed a girl"and then I liked it... → Sitting down real quick to check Facebook and Twitter...an hour later, I`m still there...