→
Women are like google you just want one answer but u always end up
getting a million other u don`t want. :P
→ A woman
will always forgive & forget.. But she`ll never let u forget that she
had forgiven & forgotten..
→ A woman’s
mind is cleaner than a man’s. She changes it more often.
→ A foolish
man tells a woman to stop talking, but a wise man tells her that her
mouth is extremely beautiful when her lips are closed. ;-)
→ Women are
completely defenseless..... until the nailpolish is dry. :D
→ A woman
can become dangerous for man in two cases: when he doesn`t satisfy her,
and when he satisfies her.
→ It`s a
girl`s world....guys just live in it..!!!
→ He taught
me housekeeping. When we divorced, I keep the house.
→ A woman
always has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that
is the beginning of a new one.
→ Someday
your prince charming will come. Mine just took a wrong turn, got lost,
and is too stubborn to ask for directions.
→ Just
because you were happy with him, doesn`t mean you can`t be happy without
him.
→ A real
man doesn`t love a million girls, he loves one girl in a million ways ♥
→ You`re
gonna catch a cold from the ice inside your soul. So don`t come back for
me. Don`t come back at all.
→ A man can
love a million woman, but it takes a real man to love a woman in million
ways.. :)
→ Men are
like parking spots, the good ones are taken and the free ones are
handicapped.
→ Dear
Lord: I pray for wisdom to understand my man, love to forgive him, and
patience for his moods, because, Lord, if I pray for strength ill beat
him to death. AMEN
→ Box of
Tampax ---- $8
Bottle of Midol -----$6
New Sweatpants --$12
The fact that the male Walmart cashier wouldn`t even look me in the eye,
like I might eat his soul or something... $PRICELESS$ Best first day of
my period, EVER!!!
→ Girl
you`re so plastic, you could be recycled.
→ Guys, you
must know that if a girl loved you then, chances are she still loves you
now.
→ Girls,
when a friend is drunk, never allow her to dial, drive or leave with a
random guy (:
→ I hate
texting you first, because it feels like I`m annoying you.
→ The
hardest guy to get over is the one you never had.
→ Girls
give & forgive. Boys get & forget.
→ Guy: "Hey
girl, what`s your sexy name?" Girl: "Taken!"
→ The best
accessory a girl can own is confidence.
→ A man`s
kiss is his signature.
→ Behind
every girl and boy with trust issues is an ex who caused them .
→ Boys are
like stars, there are millions of them out there, but only one can make
your dreams come true.
→ All girls
want is someone special to want them back
→ I’m a
girl. I overreact. I underestimate. I overestimate. I over think
everything. I dream big. And when I say I love you, I’m not lying.
→ I`m a
girl. I can be complicated without explanations.
→ Go
shopping. There is nothing that makes a woman feel better about herself
than buying a new wardrobe.
→ 3 things
that I want in a relationship: Eyes that won`t cry, Lips that won`t lie,
and Love that won`t die!
→ 3 Main
Reasons A girl Will Stop texting back:
1) You said something that pissed her off
2) YOu just started 2 get boring
3) She just fell asleep.
→ Behind
every succesful man there is a women;so dont waste time in studies
.....just find a women
→ Girls do
not dress for boys. They dress for themselves, and each other. If girls
dressed for boys, they`d just walk around naked.
→ The best
boyfriend isn’t the best looking, funniest, or the richest. It’s the 1
who`ll make u feel gorgeous, hilarious, & loves u best.
→ Girls..
If people talk behind your back, it simply means you are several steps
ahead of them. Keep going!
→ I look
like YES and you look like NO
→ Girls
never mind staying up a bit longer just to talk to a guy they love :)
→ Why do
guys cheat on PRETTY girls with UGLY girls?
→ I never
believed any guy that told me I was beautiful. Thats when you came along
and changed that <3 I love you :
→ I wasn`t
born a princess, but if the crown fits... :) ♥
→ FBI: Find
Boys Immediately ;)
→ Awe
that`s cute, how many OTHER girls did you say that too?
→ If a girl
admits that she likes you, know that it took her every ounce of courage
she has. Don`t take her for granted.
→ If
someone smells good, yes it does make them 10x more attractive.
→ You are
the boy, and I am the girl. You text me first or we`re not going to talk
today.
→ Dear boy,
our small and silly conversation means more to me than you`ll ever know.
→ When you
can`t appreciate a woman when she is doing her best for you, then do not
expect her to be there in your time of need.
→ Behind my
smile is a hurting heart. Behind my laughs I’m falling apart. Look at me
closely and you will see: The girl I am just isn’t me.
→ If you
want me, then show it. I`m not going to wait for you for my entire life.
→ Boy,
you`ve got me like Nemo, lost.
→ Saying
that I`m fat in front of people just to hear that I`m not fat.
→ You
remind me of my next boyfriend.
→ Sometimes
I wish I was a little girl again, because bruised knees heal faster than
broken hearts.
→ Girls,
you will start to get hurt the moment you start to care!
→ The worst
thing a guy can do is make a girl fall for him with no intentions of
catching her
→ Dear
Girls, Always remember The charming ones are just better liars.
→ I heard
you are good in Algebra. Can you substitute my X without asking Y???
→ I blame
Disney for my high expectations of boys!
→ You don`t
always have to kiss a lot of frogs to recognize a Prince when you find
one.
→ I like
when boys text you first and say "Good morning"
→ Every
girl needs someone to make her laugh, even if she thinks she will never
smile again
→ Women
need a reason to cheat, men just need another women...
→ Dear
hair, if you just cooperated in the first place we wouldn`t have to do
this the hard way. sincerely, girl with a flat iron
→ If a guy
really loves a girl, the one and only thing he wanna change is her Last
Name.
→ I need no
reason to love you, but I need thousands of reasons to leave you.
→ Every
girl deserves that one guy to make her smile and forget she ever had a
broken heart.
→ The man
of my dreams is never around when I`m awake.
→ Dear
periods, you are the true definition of "bloody hell." Sincerely, women.
→ Girls,
rather than choose a guy who kind only to you, choose a guy who kind to
everyone ♥
→ That
awkward moment when the guy you like doesn`t reply to your text and you
feel like jumping off the top of a building.
→ Ladies be
careful.. A player might take an occasional timeout, be he`ll always
return to the game!
→ When a
girl says "have fun" to a boy, It normally means: "Have a freakin`
horrible time."
→ Sometimes
I`m an angel, sometimes I`m cruel. But when it comes to love I`m just
another fool.
→ The right
person will love all the things about you that the wrong person took for
granted.
→ A real
woman doesn`t count how many guys she had in her life, but how many
times she resisted guys for the man she really loves.
→ What do
you call a guy who makes jokes about girls being in the kitchen? single
→ At first,
we pretend not to want their attention and then later we will do
anything to get that attention - life of a girl.
→ Don`t be
the woman that needs a man; guys take advantage of those people. Be the
woman a man needs.
→ treat
yourself as a queen, and you`ll attract a king!
→ Some guys
are like commercials, you can`t believe a word they say
→ Just
because her eyes don’t tear doesn’t mean her heart doesn’t cry....
→ Stop
wanting his attention, and watch as he starts wanting yours. Works all
the time:) we want what we don`t have.
→ Don`t let
his sweet words FOOL you!
→ Men wear
the pants in the relationship but women control the zipper.
→ That
feeling after taking off heels.
→ You`re as
chocolate, as you always make me feel better.
→ I`m a
girl who usually laughs at her mistakes, so excuse me if I laugh in your
face.
→ If a girl
gets a free drink, it doesn`t mean she`ll be interested in you, it`ll
only mean "YAY FREE DRINK!"
→ Boys
think of girls just like books. If the cover doesn`t catch their eyes,
they won`t even bother to read what`s inside.
→ If you
choose between two guys, always pick the second one; If you really loved
the first one, you would have never thought of the second one.
→ A girl`s
smile hides thousand words, a girl`s tears hides thousand feelings.
→ I`m
jealous of every girl that has ever hugged you, cause for one moment,
they hugged my entire world.
→ You know
it`s almost summer; when you have to shave your legs almost every day
because you`re wearing shorts.
→ Nothing
sexier than a girl that knows how to take control.
→ Guys get
jealous just from seeing pictures of you and another guy anywhere
ladies.
→ Boys have
selective hearing. They really only hear what they want to hear.
→ Ladies..
Let no past relationship ruin your love life. Remember: "Love will only
fail when you fail to love!" Keep moving!
→ If he
doesn`t love you at your worst If he doesn’t love you at your worst, he
doesn’t deserve you at your best
→ She can
talk about him all day but when he`s actually around she`s speechless
→ Every
girl has that special boy she`ll never forget about.
→ I like
being the girl nobody can have.
→ Admit it
: We all wish we cud take our tummy fat And glue it to our boobs
→ Nice guys
are found at every corner of the earth...too bad the earth is round.
→ Talking
with your best friends about boys who you have crushes on.
→ If you
leave without a reason, Don`t come back with an excuse.
→ Behind
every hurt, sad, depressed girl who has no trust for guys is the dirt
bag that made her that way.
→ Every
girl has her bestfriend, her boyfriend, and her love. If she`s lucky,
they`re all the same person.
→ Girls are
like bluetooth, they are connected to you when you are around and when
you are gone they find new ones but boys are like wifi, they are
connected to different devices.
→ Ever
since I met you, it hasn`t been the same. All you got me doing is
drawing hearts around your name.
→ Do not
cheat on a girl. We girls talk, we WILL know, and we WILL find out, and
we WILL dump you.
→ I would
love to see the "pretty girls" in my school remove their make up.
→ If you
want me, show me. If you need me, tell me. If you have me, show me off.
If I`m worth it, fight for me
→ Find
someone who isn`t afraid to admit that they miss you. Someone who knows
you`re not perfect, but treats you as if you are
→ Real Men
don’t love the most beautiful girl in the world, they love the girl who
can make their world the most beautiful.
→ I`d
rather hear a guy say "I made plans for us," instead of the usual "I
dunno, it`s whatever you wanna do."
→ I just
want a guy to say this to me when I`m in a situation "Don`t be afraid.
I`m here."
→ Last year
I didn`t even know his name. But this year? I write it more then my own
→ A good
friend once told me, "Don`t be a woman who needs a man," "be a woman a
man needs!"
→ Guys have
no idea how long something they said can stay in a girls head
→ Don`t
hold my hand if you aren`t willing to take everything that comes with it
→ They`re
called "skinny jeans" not "make you skinny jeans".
→ When a
girl says, "I`m done," it really means, "fight for me."
→ A real
woman avoids drama, she knows her time is precious and she`s not wasting
it on unimportant people or things.
→ Boys are
players; that`s a known fact; don`t get mad at them; just play them
back.
→ I miss
you, but I`m not going to text you first, because I want to see if you
miss me more.
→ Sometimes
the girl who`s always been there for everyone else, needs someone to be
there for her.
→ No girl
should ever forget that she doesn`t need someone, who doesn`t need her.
→ No one
has the right to judge you. They might have heard the stories, but they
didn`t feel what you felt in your heart.
→ Dear
ladies.. All men with money aren`t smart. Sometimes a man`s money grows,
but he doesn`t.
→ I wonder
if Mr. Right exists. I`ve already met Mr. Player, Mr. Psycho, Mr. Lazy,
Mr. User and Mr. Know it all.
→ Men are
like a deck of cards. You`ll find the occasional king, but most are
jacks:
→ The best
feeling in the world is when you are about to look at him but realize
that he is already staring at you.
→ As my
boyfriend, you have an amazing taste in girls ;)
→ I’d love
to see myself from a boy’s perspective.
→ Google
must be a woman, it knows everything.
→ Every
girl who looks happy with all those smiles and endless laughter, there’s
this guy who made her so good at pretending.
→ He`s the
kind of guy who makes you love your name just because he says it.
→ Never let
a girl think she has a chance when you know she doesn`t.
→ You can`t
turn a bad girl good. But once a good girl`s gone bad, she`s gone
forever.
→ The
awkward moment when your boyfriend`s hair is so much better than yours
→ A woman
should know how to look like a girl, how to act like a lady, how to
think like a man.
→ A real
woman doesn't count how many guys she had in her life, but how many
times she resisted guys for the man she really loves.
→ I don`t
want to be your "favorite" or your "best". I want to be your "only", and
f*ck the rest.
→ Call a
girl pretty and she will remember it for 5 minutes. Call a girl ugly and
she will remember it forever.
→ I
saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it...so I said
"Implants?"
→ Good
girls are bad girls that never get caught.
→ Women
should not have children after 35. Really... 35 children are enough.
→ Why is a
bra singular and panties plural?
→ How do
you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word? Get another
sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!
→
Hurricanes are like women: when they come, they're wet and wild, but
when they leave they take your house and car.
→ To find
out a girl's faults, praise her to her girlfriends.
→ Why do
women always ask questions that have no right answers?
→ Nothing
in the world is more expensive than a women who's free for the weekend.
→ Most
women don't know where to look when they're eating a banana.
→ The only
one of your children who does not grow up and move away is your husband.
→ I think
my girlfriend's hallucinating. She keeps telling me she's seeing other
people.
→ At the
beginning of a relationship, I wonder if women rub their hands together
and say "Let the games begin!"
→ When a
woman asks me how long I can last in bed I tell her it depends on how
long someone brings me food and water but probably years.
→ Women
live longer than men because typically women don't get married to women.
→ (Glass
breaks) woman: I think someones breaking in! Man: I'll take care of this
(grabs a toilet brush) Woman: A toilet brush? What are you going to do
scrub him to death? Man: Would you want to be touched with this?
→ When the
Spice Girls chose their "Spicy" alter-ego nicknames, the girl with the
biggest boobs should have chosen to go by Spice Rack
→ Women are
angels, and when someone breaks our wings, we continue to fly...on a
broomstick. We're flexible that way.
→ If you're
on the show "16 and Pregnant" you have a pretty good chance of being on
the follow-up show "32 and a Grandmother"
→ Women are
like police, they can have all the evidence in the world but they still
want a confession
→ I saw an
elderly women wearing a "Guess" sweatshirt the other day so I said
...82?? She didnt smile
→ I cheated
on my fears, broke up with my doubts, got engaged to my faith and now
I'm marrying my dreams
→ If a girl
destroys your house, keys your car, and tries to get you arrested, its
not love. She's crazy
→ Why is it
that all females have an attraction towards a stripper pole ?? Its like
a magnet !!
→ Whenever
I meet a new girl, I introduce myself by shaking hands with my left
hand. I don't want her to meet her competition right away
→ I
borrowed my wife’s GPS. All it’s doing is yelling at me to slow down.
→ Always
believe a woman when she says: “You don’t want to know!”
→ If men
can go around joggin shirtless... I believe "SOME" women should be able
to do the same as well!
→ A woman
rarely discards one lover until she is sure of another.
→ Got my
hair done again. I’m so blonde now I can barely spell my last name.
→ Women
like silent men, they think they’re listening.
→ smiling
is the best makeup a girl can wear
→ What do I
do when I see someone EXTREMELY GORGEOUS? I stare, I smile & when I get
tired, I put the mirror down.
→ This body
was built for neither speed nor comfort. But it idles well
→ Girls
make as much sense as the ingredients in Four Loko.
→ Nothing
warms a woman's heart more than a man revealing his.
→ You show
me a woman who doesn't feel guilty and I'll show you a man.
→ If a girl
compliments your dress, then you're wearing a pretty dress. If a guy
compliments your dress, then you're wearing a slutty dress
